Thursday, March 28, 2013

My rant novel, ravel.

es jueves errrrrbody. Good Friday is tomorrow everyone! and to my Jews, it's Passover, or it was passover, I'm not sure when it is or was, but happy passover nonetheless. So guess what, it's finally getting warm in the tundra I call home, shits melting all over the place and I can't keep my car clean. I can finally drive like I prefer, faster than 40 and signaling at my leisure past all these old, ugly, raggedy ass rusted minnesota janky cars. What is this....west Boca?

Did you hear? the Miami Heat's streak went down the toilet last night...and in case my newsfeed on facebook isn't already annoying enough with all your ugly baby pictures, grammatically incorrect insults to one another, and "selfies" (as they're so narcissistically termed)...I love the growing trend of hashtags everywhere. yes, yes I do. ie-

#miami #miamiheat #heat #heatnation #nba #basketball #teamwin #teamheat #bestteam #greatgame #stillontop #wegotthis #championship #lebron #6 #wade #3 #bosh #thisisjustthebeginning

that was one persons "status" HEY, THIS ISN'T INSTAGRAM, which is where that crap originated from...I think.

I'm all for a sarcastic hashtag here and there....I'm not even sure the reasoning behind it or why I think it's sometimes funny. Me, bursting with self confidence and security, don't find it necessary to create an account on instagram (which should be renammed to insecuritygram.....hashtag that) to post a bunch of filtered, blurry, dark, and 95% of the time not cute pictures, for what? so people can "follow" thanks, that's a crime in all states.

I don't understand. Keep insecuritygram over there, not on my facebook feed. yes, I can block you, but then where will I get all my material for facebook insults and blog postings?

Furthermore, I am concerned why everyone is so self involved. I mean, posting pictures if they're funny or unique is one thing. but come of you driving down the highway when I can see the reflection that you're more concerned that everyone sees your duck face than the road in front of you is just ridiculous. Or putting 47 hashtags for one picture is just absurd. No one needs that many, whats the purpose? just to piss everyone off? half of them are lies anyway. #beautiful #hot #cute no, none of those are true.
According to a 2012 Harvard study, 50% of auto accidents were caused by duckface pictures. #facts. I guess everyone being so self involved is better than everyone being negative or violent?

Have you ever watched "stalked" on the ID channel? you should. People are crazy. Pedophiles are real and all these pictures of your kids...ugh. gives me the heebie jeebies.

This is my formal platform for the ID Channel, I love this station and have a slight obsession with every show on it. I watch it at all hours of the day (they have no infomercials all night) and thoroughly enjoy all the shows. Watch a couple of those and maybe you'll stop inviting psychos to follow you. I grew up obsessed with rescue 911 and Unsolved Mysteries...the original shiz, fantastic.

So, what I'm saying is, I'm slightly paranoid... but hey, this is America, land of the free AND crazy. (we've got a moron running the country) This isn't the 80's, you can't sleep with the doors unlocked and trust thy neighbor. That neighbors plotting to kill you or sleep with your husband. Hold that gun close to you and be overly cautious. Dr. Phil wrote a book recently (and he quotes this shit every show--so annoying), we are living in a different world than before. Don't give people the benefit of the doubt. google that junk.

Somehow, I went from Miami Heat to Dr. Phil.

The moral of this story is, people need to cool it and use some common sense. and for the love of God, please go back to 7th grade English and learn the differences between there, their, and they're. I can't take it. I saw someone use where instead of wear this morning....come on.

ATLANTA, I'm coming to visit in 22 days. AUBURN, I'm coming to visit in 23 days.

I hope you enjoyed this rant novel today. Now, put your phone down and nose in a book!


This annoyed me this week:

Here's what made me laugh:

get it, get it